Since I’ve Been Wanting To Go
Another old timer. Been tugging at my skirt lately.
When I said I can sign away my limbs
As a means to indemnify,
All I meant was that I can keep still
And within what is left, be confined.
Not that I scheme to appeal for Mercy
To parry for me the blade in mid-air –
In the first place, no place is mine to relinquish.
I really have nothing but roaming to waive.
From most of this expanse, I should then disappear.
Then, should Patience still see the need to calm down
Its son, the one I struck, that one who says the wind
Could cripple him – he fears – should it follow him around,
Let Patience teach the bastard how not to breathe
This air we have no choice but to share.
I can sign away my limbs, but can he forgive?
He must, to skip hell and not meet me there.
– Jennifer Balboa
(I believe a slightly different version appeared in Manila Bulletin’s Panorama, April 2, 2006. No big deal, some commas just morphed into dashes here.)