dedicatori, to the tune of Little Earthquakes

by jenniferbalboa


[fourth life-in-music post]



This is about Tori. This is about love.

Stay! It will make sense, you’ll see. It will make sense by not making sense. If we could only stop from desperately looking for sense –

Today, I stood up against three twentysomething kids in the workplace who insisted that “love never lasts” –

There, Tori just sang, “castles are burning in my heart” –

Actually, only two of them said that “love never lasts”, the two girls. The boy said “there is no love”.

There, Tori just sang, “I got twenty five bucks and a cracker, do you think it’s enough to get us there?”

My stand is that “love can last”. That was actually me already being diplomatic. What I truly wanted to tell them was “there is love and it lasts, always, because it is the beginning and the end and it is in your bones, kiddos, it’s in your blood, love is our very lives lived for the good”.

Of course I never got to say that. Because one of them pointed out that in a romantic relationship, it never works that way, and that I’m not even in one, and that I’ll get their point if I’m in one.


I went back to my cube and shed a sappy tear.

It’s funny how these kids can say sweeping things like that… “love never lasts”… “there is no love”… I guess they are empowered by the fact that they are actually in relationships, and have been in previous other relationships, and that gives them the license to assert. And to dash the hopes of those who choose to believe otherwise.

Tori right now is singing, “how can I, when you build the great wall around you?”

I was in love when I first heard Tori sing China. It was my first. It was not a perfect love. It was even questionable. It was unrequited. I was eighteen.

And while I spent days months years putting down the torch, staring at it from afar, digging the hole, and burying it, Tori sang for me the dirge.

Who knows what could have happened to me if I had to do all that in deadening silence?

It was not easy, but I wasn’t alone, I had a grace of a song that cooed, it will be alright, don’t lose your faith in love!

Tori has loved me through the song, and she doesn’t even know. Or maybe she does know that she can love strangers through songs.

I love her too. Thank you!

And I love these kids. I really do. So I’ll just pour out my little hurts here and no longer argue with them ever again about love.

These kids, in their glistening acid and gall, which I used to have too in my not-so-distant past, these kids, they don’t know the power that they have.

Just like Tori sang.